紅暁 The Red Dawn
by sachiroyurei
Summary: Based on ch168&171. If Komui had found Cross in the following morning scenario. -The red dawn he witnessed chilled his blood- Komma. In English and Japanese. For Momosportif's fic challenge.


Disclaimer: D.Gray-Man belongs to Hoshino Katsura.

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紅暁-The Red Dawn

赤く染まってる暁。

The dawn dyed in red.

あの窓を見てそう思ってしまった。

I thought so, looking at that window.

太陽が照らした明かりは血塗れた窓を取って酷く醜い紅色だった。

The beams of light from the sun passing through the bloodstained window were terribly red.

そして、その窓に背を当たってるのは彼だった。クロスマリアン。

And then, the one leaning against that window was him. Cross Marian.

息が止まりそうで震える指を差し出した。寒い。彼の肌はとても寒い。

With my breath about to stop I reached out with trembling fingers. Cold. His skin was very cold.

「ク。。。ロス?何やってるの、こんな所で眠るなんて。。。」

「Cr...Cross? What are you doing, sleeping in such a place...」

返事は来ない。いつも傲慢や荒い声で話しかけてくるの貴方が僕の為に口すら開けぬ。何故かな?

He doesn't answer. He who always spoke to me with an arrogant and rough voice will not even open his mouth for me. I wonder why?

「室長。。。マリアン元帥はもう。。。息をしてない。」

「Supervisor...General Marian has already...Stopped breathing.」

リーバーは僕の肩に手をそっと置いた。体は微妙に落ち着いた。声も揺らぎは無かった。でも震えが止まらない。

Reever softly placed his hand on my shoulder. My body was strangely calm. My voice too did not waver. But the shivering would not stop.

「何言ってるの、リーバー班長?クロスはただ眠ってるのよ。」

「What are you saying, Squad Leader Reever? Cross is just sleeping.」

だって、信じられない。

Because, I couldn't believe it.

「目を開けろ、コムイ室長!　あの窓の血はマリアン元帥の物だ!」

「Open your eyes, Supervisor Komui! The blood on that window belongs to General Marian!」

嘘。

Lies.

嘘嘘嘘。

Lies. Lies. Lies.

「クロス。。。」

「Cross...」

そんなはず無いのに。クロスは死ぬはずが無いのに。

It just wasn't possible. Cross wouldn't die.

何も感じられない。閉まってる、心が。安らかな顔をしている。信じられない。眠ってるみたい。。。でもそうじゃない。嘘だ。クロスは居ない、もう。。。

I could not feel a thing. It was closed, my heart. He has a calm expression. It was unbelievable. He seemed to be sleeping...But he wasn't. It's a lie. Cross isn't here, not anymore...

こうなるの解ったはず。ただ。。。あの強い背中を見る度、思った事も無かった。鬼の様な強さを見せながら不死身くらい信じられる彼が。。。だが違う。

I should have understood that this would have happened. It was just...Each time I saw that strong silhouette, I did not even think of it. Showing off the strength equivalent to a demon's to the point of almost being invincible...But it was not right.

結局クロスも生身の人間。血を流す生き物。

In the end, Cross was also just another human of mortal flesh. A living being with blood flowing within.

「。。。どうします、室長?」

「...What shall we do, Supervisor?」

リーバーの問いに現実に戻った僕はいつもの仮面をつけた。

I who had returned to reality with Reever's question put on my usual mask.

「クロス元帥の死体を別の部屋に運んで。綺麗にして葬式を整って。他の元帥を知らせるのだ。そして。。。少しの間にこんな事を誰にも言うな。ルベリエ長官の公示の後で皆を知らせる。」

「Move General Cross' body to another room. Clean him and prepare the funeral processions. We have to inform other generals. And...Don't tell this to others for a while. We will inform them after Inspector Leverrier's announcement later.」

リーバーもただうなずいた。ファインダーと一緒にあの人の骸を連れて行った。

Reever too could only nod. With some finders, he took away that man's corpse.

僕は窓に付いた血を指に触れた。すでに凝り固まり始めた。

I touched the blood which was sprayed on the window. It had already started to coagulate.

ジンジンと涙が沸いてきた。でも一滴も零さなかった。

Tears pricked at my eyes. But not a single drop fell.

「クロス。。。本当にもう。。。ただの悪戯じゃないよね?　生きてるのなら、またぶっ殺してあげる。趣味の悪い男。。。いつも。。。」

「Cross...Are you really...It's not just a prank right? If you're alive, I'd kill you again. You were a man of dark interests...Always...」

突然血の臭いを堪えれず部屋から早く出て行った。訊かなくとも解ってた、クロスの骸の居場所。同じ臭いは付いていたから。

Suddenly unable to bear the smell of blood I quickly walked out of the room. Even without asking I knew, the place where Cross' corpse is. The same stench was stuck to it.

美しいかった。

He was beautiful.

未だ生きているなら笑うだろうな。僕は一度でも彼を褒めた事は無いから。でも彼のしなやかな肉体、サラサラにした赤毛は何の変わりも無く美しいだった。

If he was alive he would have been laughing. I had never praised him even once after all. But his sinewy muscles, his splayed out red hair was unchangingly beautiful.

「湯灌は僕がやります。貴方たちは部屋に戻りなさい。今日の昼はきっと。。。大変な事になる。」

「I will do the cleansing of his body. You all should return to your rooms. This afternoon...Will surely be a catastrophe.」

濡れた布でキチンと貴方の体に付いた血を拭く。傷口はよく見える。きっと何かの鋭い物に刺し殺されたんだ。額に有る銃傷も異形的に艶やかだった。

With a wet cloth I properly cleaned away the blood still stuck to your body. I could see the wounds properly. You must have been killed by a stab of something sharp. Even the gunshot wound on your forehead was grotesquely fascinating.

ね、クロス。

Hey, Cross.

貴方が死んでも泣けない僕を攻めないよね?　だって、貴方が教えたんだ。誰にも感情を見せない。それで弱点も掴めない。勘違いしないで、貴方は本当に僕の愛しい人だった。でも今は未だ。。。未だ悲しむ場合じゃない。今は未だ沢山やらなければならない事がいっぱいある。貴方はきっと解るはずさ。

You wouldn't blame me for not crying over your death would you? Because, you were the one who taught me. That I couldn't show others my feelings. And so they can't find my weakness. Don't misunderstand please. You truly were someone irreplaceable to me. But now is not yet...It isn't the time to be grieving yet. Now we still have a lot of things we have to do. Surely you would understand.

変と思う。

I think it's strange.

貴方に服を着させるのは久しぶりすぎて、その感触も忘れそうになったんだ。まさか。。。四年の再開に初触れ合いは最後になるなんて。

I had not helped you dress for so long, I almost forgot the sensation. Who knew...That the first touches we had in four years would be our last.

そして、貴方の死を知らせの後大騒ぎだった。人々は泣いたり、混乱したり、絶望したり。。。本当、この世にはもう居なくても人を騒がせる男ね。

Then, after the announcement of your death there was chaos. People were crying, were confused, were despaired...Really, even though you're not around anymore you are still a man who could stir the crowds.

意外とアレン達の頼みで灰にならないで住んだ。正式に土の中に最後の休み場となる。

Surprisingly at the request of Allen and others you didn't turn to ashes. We were officially going to bury you in the earth as your final resting place.

儀式は明日。

The ceremony is tomorrow.

僕は今も貴方の顔をじっと見つめた。体を埋める前に脳の中で貴方の姿を焼き付けたい。

Even now I am still gazing at your face. Before they bury you I want to burn your image into my mind.

窓の外の月は不気味な白を照らした。

From outside to window the moon glowed an ominous white.

「こんばんわ。 」

「Good evening. 」

「。。。来たのですか、伯爵?すっかりマシュマロの姿なくなりましたね。」

「...So you have come, Earl? It seems you've completely lost your marshmallow figure.」

ぼくの言葉に謎だらけの伯爵は笑った。

At my words the mysterious Earl laughed.

「これは失礼な。 貴方の為に来たと言うのに 。」

「This is rude. Even though I came for your sake .」

息苦しい。必死に問いかけた僕は痛々しいに見えるだろう。

It was hard to breathe. I must be so unsightly to ask him so desperately.

「本当に。。。彼の魂はもうあの世行きですか？」

「Is it really...His soul has truly departed for the other world?」

伯爵は顔を見せぬままが、笑ってる気がした。

The earl's face remained unseen. I felt that he was smiling.

「さあ 試してみてどうだい?　貴方の声は彼の魂を呼び戻せる。クロスはろくでもない男がきっと愛しい人の為に帰ってくるだろう。 死んでないなら。。。まあ、それも嬉しい事だな。」

「Who knows Why don't we try it? Your voice can call him back. Even though Cross is a notorious man he would surely return for the sake of a loved one. If he isn't dead yet...Well, that is a joyous occasion too.」

愛しい。。。そう、クロスは大切にしてた存在。もう一度、僕は彼の顔を見たい。見れば見るほど悲しく儚く遠ざける気がした。クロスはもう僕の手に届かない場所に行ってしまった。

Beloved...Yes, Cross was an existence I treasured. Just once more, I want to see his face. The more I looked at his unmoving expression the more sorrowfully fleetingly distant he felt to me. Cross has already gone to somewhere where my hands couldn't reach.

「それなら貴方の思惑通りになるでしょう。呼び戻せたら、クロスはアクマとして生き返る。そして苦しむ。呼び戻せないなら、クロスは死んでいないと言う事は確認出来る。」

「That would be all according to your plan. If I could call him back, Cross will be revived as an Akuma. And he will suffer. If I couldn't, you can confirm that Cross is not yet dead.」

少しだけ伯爵は笑顔を見せた。

The Earl showed me his smile, just a bit.

「まあ、さすが室長。鋭いお考えですね。そのまま葬るつもりかい?」

「Well, as I expect of the Supervisor. You have a sharp mind. So you plan to bury him just like that?」

_嫌だ。_

_No.  
_

「ええ。」

「Yes.」

その言葉言った瞬間、心が何かに刺された見たい痛んでしまった。出来ればずっとずっと貴方の顔見続けたい。でもそんな我が儘言ったら貴方は絶対僕を馬鹿にするから。

The moment I said those words, my heart hurt as if it had been stabbed. If I could I wanted to gaze at his face forever. But if I said such selfish words you would definitely make a fool out of me.

伯爵はいきなり抱きついた。驚きしすぎ、動けなくなった。彼は僕の耳に小さい声でまた語り始めた。

The Earl suddenly embraced me. Too surprised, I could not move. He spoke again in a soft voice into my ear.

「今は沢山の見張り付けられたんですね。かまわないか?敵と組み合ってるの疑いかけられるかも知れないよ?」

「You are being assigned a lot of shadows. Do you not mind? You could be suspected of cooperating with the enemy, you know?」

苦笑した。

I smiled bitterly.

「。。。良い、別に。僕は殺されるのも機会と時間の問題。従わない物を排除するだけのは中央部のやり方。。。嫌になってきた。。。こんな汚い人間のやり方。」

「...It's alright, I don't mind. It is only a matter of time and opportunity to when I will be killed. To dispose of those who do not obey them is the Central's way...I've come to hate it...This despicable human way...」

ため息は僕の口から零した。

A sigh escaped my lips.

どんなに頑張っても決して洗い去る事出来ないこの手の上の血。

No matter how hard I tried the blood on my hands can never be washed away.

「それほど覚悟は出来たか?僕たちの味方にならないか?貴方みたいな良い脳みそを持ってる人間は必要です。 」

「You are prepared to such an extent? Why not become our partner? We need humans with good brains like you. 」

伯爵は僕を離さずに囁いた。

The Earl whispered to me without letting me go.

「。。。いいえ、クロスに叱れる。」

「...No, Cross would scold me.」

「そうか。それは残念でした。でも解ったんだろう?人間は世界の破壊すべきな物。」

「I see. That is a misfortune. But you do understand now? Humans are a thing the world should destroy.」

伯爵は何故かとても悲しい声で語った。でも笑顔はそのままだ。僕も失意とか辛辣に障られたせいで伯爵と一緒に笑った。

The Earl sounded strangely very sad as he said so. But he remained with a smile. Whether I had lost hope or been struck by bitterness I smiled together with the Earl.

「ええ。。。しかし人間は自分の愚かさによって消滅される。」

「Yes...But humans will destroy themselves in their foolishness.」

「僕らはただそのプロセスを早めるだけだ。ノアも神に与えられた宿命から逃せない。。。」

「We are just hastening the process. Noahs too cannot escape the fate they have been tasked to...」

「。。。そう。。。か。。。」

「...I...see...」

誰も自分の身に巻きつけた役割から開放されるのは許せない。

Everyone has a role that they are given whereupon escape is unforgivable.

「貴方もクロスみたいになるのが怖くないですか?」

「Are you not afraid of becoming like Cross?」

まさか敵から情けをかけられたなんて。

I never thought that I would incur the compassion of the enemy.

そんなに僕の本心をしりたい？

Do you really want to know the depths of my heart?

「嫌。。。逆にそうなれば嬉しい。室長として教団の全員から信頼されてる。僕が死ねば、きっと皆は中央部がどんなに無残なのか気付いてるはず。そして氾濫を起こす。その為ならこの命投げてもいい。所詮ヴァチカンは自分を守るため人の命をなんてこともないと考える。」

「No...On the contrary I would be happy. As Supervisor I have the trust of all my staff. If I die, it will surely awaken their eyes to the cruel ways of the Central. And mutiny will occur. For that reason I am willing to throw away my life. After all the Vatican in order to protect itself thinks nothing of the lives of those humans who were slain in its name.」

伯爵は口を大きく開けて笑い出した。

The Earl opened his mouth wide and laughed aloud.

「ほほ、貴方もなかなか人扱いね。自分の死で彼らを操るとは。いい考えだ。 」

「Hoho, you are quite a slave-driver. To use your own death to manipulate them. It's a great idea. 」

僕の口元にまた苦笑が生まれた。

A bitter smile was born from my lips.

「だからこそ室長になったんですよ。なめてはいけませんね、伯爵。」

「That is why I am the Supervisor. You should not look down on me, Earl.」

ようやく、彼は僕を腕の籠から開放された。

Finally, he released me from the cage of his arms.

「気に入った。ぜひ、世界が滅びる日に我々の箱舟を乗ってもらいます。それでは 。」

「You are interesting. Please, you are welcome to board our Ark on the day the world is destroyed. Until then.」

少しずつ彼の影は消えてゆく。

Gradually his shadow melted away.

僕もまた、貴方の顔を眺めた。やはりとても安心した表情。僕は正しいことやったでしょうか?

Once more, I watched your expression. Truly it was a very peaceful one. Had I done the right thing?

まるで。。。微笑んでるみたい。

It is as if...You're smiling.

美しい。

It is beautiful.

「ごめん、クロス。こんなに高く上り詰めても貴方を助けてあげられなくて。。。ごめん。。。でも、笑顔で死に行くのは不公平よ。。。」

「I'm sorry, Cross. Even though I had climbed so high I could not save you...I'm sorry...But, it's not fair of you to leave with a smile...」

_もっと悲しくするから。_

_It only makes me sadder.  
_

クロスの頬に一滴の涙は落とされた。

A single droplet of tear fell onto Cross' cheeks.

アクマは生きてる悪性兵器。材料は人、魂と嘆きから生み出した。

Akuma is a living malevolent weapon. The ingredients are a soul, a loved one and tragedy.

自分の無力さを呪いながら人に怨みを持つ。

As they curse their own powerlessness they bear hatred for others.

この日から僕はクロスのアクマになってしまった。

I have become Cross' Akuma today.

そしていつかルベリエに紅暁を見せてやる。

And one day I would show Leverrier the red dawn.

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I hope you all enjoyed this tragic fiction. The Japanese may be incorrect in certain areas since I am still learning. Those who can read Japanese, please forgive me if the grammar is wrong. Hope you all would like this fic. Thank you.


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